Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Time heals all wounds

So the last week or so has been pretty rough... Mainly me cursing the universe for taking my friend so suddenly. This happens now only at night when all the distractions have ceased, and I'm just lying in bed with my thoughts.

Lately, during the day I just notice that I'll come across something I know Nancy would have liked, or some bit of gossip I want to tell her about, and I have to stop myself. One of my favorite thing to do was keep her up to date on the things going on in my life, and that's just not possible any more.

Hunter comes back soon, on the 29th. I can't wait, as it's been very lonely and empty since he's been gone, and Nancy's passing hasn't helped that much. I have a feeling I'll bawl like a baby about Nancy all over again when he gets back and I finally have someone to hold tight to.

But mainly, I know these things just take time. When my mother died back in 1999, I remember, months later, asking Nancy "Will I ever be able to think about her without crying?" And her answer was yes. At the moment, I'm still at that stage with Nancy, but I trust that eventually I will be able to think of her and be positive about what we shared together, and not just the loss that was created now that she's gone.

Last Friday I went over to her house to help her husband and daughter scan in a picture for her obituary, which actually appeared in today's local Eugene paper. I clipped it out for safe keeping from our work copy, as I don't get the paper at home. It's funny how your life can be reduced to what amounts to a list of facts. Anyway, while I was there, I picked up my digital camera and cables, which I had let her borrow. There were pictures and videos she had taken of her three dogs (the "girls" as she called them) taken less than a month ago up to present. In one of the videos, the dogs are racing around the house and knock over a fan. It's one of the happy memories of who she was I keep with me now. I've posted it below for you all to see, also. She loved to laugh, and was never afraid to. :)


At 10/22/2008 3:42 PM, Blogger Rosa Rambles said...

I think its wonderful you honor her memory this way! I didnt know Nancy well but meeting her on my visit there you could just tell she held a good heart and made you feel wonderfully welcome and appreciated. Nancy will always be with you Jay so long as you have those memories :)


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