Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Update - Missing Hunter :(

Hey there folks. Don't know if people read this blog much, but I'll make another post. So, last Monday the 29th Hunter left for LA, to help his folks out for the month. It's been a little over a week now, and it certainly feels different.

Now remember, I have never been in a close relationship, let alone a live-in one before, so this is taking quite a bit of adjustment for me. I find myself falling back into the patterns I had before I met him, which is a good and bad thing.

Good, in terms that I get the time I like to play video games and read, and do whatever, without missing time with Hunter (since that's impossible at the moment).

Bad though, in that I feel like there's a part of me that's missing... A replacement for the inner voice I have that I pose questions to. (Hunter's a far better and more reasonable inner voice than my own :D) A presence that I miss at key points in the day, like the morning, mealtimes, and bedtime.

It just feels once again like the world has no color and I have no anchor. Like I'm just afloat, fretting that I'm maybe not on top of things and that something is slipping away. Worrying that there's something else I should be doing. Well, whatever the opposite of "centered" is. Chatting in Yahoo is nice, and it keeps us in touch, but that's all it does. I guess I never knew how empty my life was before finally finding someone. I just had to rediscover that recently; how much I used to have to fill my life with distractions so I wouldn't realize how lonely life really was.

Well, all that aside, we're just trying to cope the best we can. He gets back on the 29th, which is still over 20 days away. :( Just hanging in there, keeping busy, and that's all we can do.


At 10/09/2008 4:42 PM, Blogger Rosa Rambles said...

Sounds like love to me :D *hugs* Hang in there sweet Kitty, I know how hard this is for you but have faith in the strong person you are and know you can get through this! Think about the great things to come past these 20 days more.. dont think about the 20 days! Write a journal to Hunter of your day to share with him at those peak times your missing him so painfully. writing to him will help you feel hes still present at those times and think of how touched he will be to read how much you missed him while he was away :) *hugs* and you can always lean on me when you feel you need some help *hugs*


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